Well hey there, friend. It’s Wednesday, January 4th, in the year of our Lord 2012. I haven’t written on this here blog in a wee little bit. If that matters to you, I am sorry. Oddly enough, the only reason I am updating you on my life is because a student I was subbing for encouraged me to write. Random. My wife, family and friends encourage me to write but sometimes it takes a random person’s off-hand comment to motivate you. And I’m okay with that.
I have been trying to write but nothing was “ever good enough.” That’s never a reason not to do something. We seem to pay more attention to the million and a half excuses to not do something while hardly ever listening to the few reasons we should. We are such bizarre little creatures.
The piece I was working on (which I don’t know if I will post) was my heart reflections on the Occupy movement. I was going to go all political and spiritual on you. Brian being spiritual and political with a touch of sarcastic, often ironic what-he-deems-wit type tone!? Never.
So this is me updating you on my life. I am married. I am substitute teaching. I am writing (literally and at other times too!). I am trying to awaken the runner in me again. I am seeking a job (can I has job?) I am trying to figure some stuff out, namely what it means to be an effective Christian in the 21st century, what it means to exist, what it means to be a man and what it means to be a husband. Tired yet? I am. It can be quite exhausting.
And it can be awfully boring. I don’t believe in being bored but it seems to find me anyway. Not sure how to deal with that. The boredom phenomenon comes from a few places. 1—The fact that I don’t have “a real job” (a big boy job). 2—The fact that I lack discipline at times when I have no sub job and no shift at Crepes (On the Square). 3—That part of me deep inside that is sort of struggling with waiting for things to happen to me rather than making them happen.
Quite frankly, it’s an awkward time. Not awkward in the sense that I am uncomfortable in my own skin, but awkward like watching a newborn gazelle try to figure out how to stand when the dangerous lioness is watching and waiting for lunch. We know the lion is there and we know that stupid baby gazelle better get up and start running before he becomes that lion’s snack.
Tangent. I think I might actually hate google. Almost as much as I hated my third grade teacher whom I blame for crippling my ability to spell. I can’t spell and as you know, I suck, at, knowing, when to, properly use commas. I must have missed comma day. Google makes us lazy. It enables my bad habit of sucking at spelling. All you have to do is type: define: the word you want to spell. And the internet does it for you! Then again, this is the same function as a dictionary, but the difference is, with a dictionary, you have to know how to freagin' spell it already. That’s the evil beauty of autofill. Google knows how bad you suck at spelling so it corrects you as you struggle to type it in. It’s as if it’s saying, “hey, I’m a robot and you’re a dumb human. Let me help you.”
Part of the reason why I haven’t blogged about my personal life in a while is the fact that so much has happened to me that it's honestly hard to keep up with. I just ended that sentence with a preposition. Thanks third grade teacher!
I am a husband. First of all, marriage isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing I have done albeit attempt to file taxes without calling my dad. In all seriousness, God has blessed me with an amazing woman that believes the same things I do (this really helps). We are growing closer to oneness everyday. It’s beautifully painful.
One of my best friends (you know who you are. Your name rhymes with Frett Hach), has been encouraging me to write down all the amusing and un-amusing anecdotes I learn about marriage. He likes to listen to me talk about it. I don’t know why. Maybe in some way it’s preparing him for when he comes across that road. That burden is frightening. The idea that I (a fool) have a shred wisdom to share for others. If I do, it is by God’s grace and not my own understanding. A lot of it is borrowed wisdom. I have been blessed with a great Earth Dad who taught me by word and deed how to be a good husband. The rest I am figuring out through prayer and trial and error. I like to tease Katherine by telling her I make mistakes on purpose as an opportunity for her to show me grace. Christian jokes are so silly sometimes.
I realize I have stolen a few minutes of your time, and for that I am grateful. I hope we can meet again soon. If not, pray that God blesses me with a big boy job and that I keep seeking Him first to learn how to be a good husband.
Have a superb January. Bis spater und viel gluck!
P.S. I wrote this while “on the clock” as a substitute ( Shh! Don’t tell!). Does that technically make me a professional writer? Just kidding. But not really.